Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize