it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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