I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
