Plan B is the new Plan A
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
