We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We talked him into tasing himself.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
