Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
