Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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