Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
