so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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