I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
