Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
