Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
