She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
