Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
