Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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