She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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