i can't believe i had my finger in that
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
