That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
