No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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