Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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