it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
