Kiss
Puke
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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