I love black thongs
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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