does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
