The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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