One girl and one boy is just not enough.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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