The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
