Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
