So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
