no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
