At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
