The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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