Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
