i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
