You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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