I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
