The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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