Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
