Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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