he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
