You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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