He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Randomize
