Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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