So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
