FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
