They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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