It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
