the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
