Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
