just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
