I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just had sex bonerless
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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