He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
