just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
