Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
